So, BlogMoWriMo I believe it is called has arrived. I wasn’t planning on doing January, but why not? So here’s my first post of 2015. It’s 11:53 pm and I’m barely making the deadline. This blog post is very long, and it’s my shortened tale of 2014. I probably forgot a multitude of things that I wish I didn’t, but we’ll find those later.
2014 was a really spectacular year for me. Sure it had its ups and downs, but in the long run, it was one of the most memorable. I remember starting the year off–and I’m not proud of this–superficial. My mind doesn’t–and didn’t–really work that way, thinking superficially.
Looking back, I think I was tired of missing out on the fun of that year, that everyone seemed to be having except for me. I started looking for popularity the first three months of 2014. It was track season which was a really great way to branch out and meet new people for other schools. I wanted to be more outgoing, more fun, more of a teenager.
I’m glad I realized pretty quickly that that wasn’t what I wanted to be doing that year. I didn’t want to look for minor friends, useless conversations, and popularity.
I was much much more comfortable being an introvert. Going home and reading for hours without any communication except for me and the characters. Going through school and staying quiet and being fine by myself instead of looking for someone to talk to so I wouldn’t look alone.
I think in that point in my life, I became truly okay with who I was. I wasn’t going to change myself for others, and especially not to fit in. I was going to live my life the way I wanted to and not what others expected of me.
That was a big turning point in 2014. I’m glad I can say “I love myself” and not what to beat down on my flaws, my body, or anything.
Then April came. April was an interesting month because my best friend said she wanted a break from me. I could see the signs during that track meet–not talking to me, one-wording responses, hanging out with other people, and ignoring me when I asked a question.
The track meet was actually my best all season and I had set two p.r.’s (personal records). The following day she texted me saying she wanted a break, and I played it nonchalant, figuring it’d maybe only last a week, two tops. That break turned into a month and by the time the break was over, I didn’t think we could get back to where we were.
So that small incident ended our friendship. Friendships are hard to see go but ultimately, it was for the best. Hopefully, she has a great future ahead of her because she’s a spectacular runner.
The summer of 2014 came, and let me tell you: That was a whirlwind of collections. Summer is interesting because it usually takes me about two months to get settled into school before I’m like “Okay, okay cool.” And coincidentally, summer is only two months long. So by the time I was like “Okay, okay cool” school was starting back up again.
But anyway, June that summer was really great. I was a counselor for VBS (Vacation Bible School) at my church, and I had tons of fun as I usually do. Except the heat. The southern heat is awful (actually one of the reasons I want to move up north besides the fact they actually experience seasons…but more on my wanderlust later).
Maybe about two weeks post-vbs was a church camp kind of thing. Now this was definitely a highlight of my 2014 year and I can’t wait to go this year. I met so many amazing people and heard their stories, listen to great seminars, and had such a fun time. I established deeper relationships with my best friends than I thought possible as well as new relationships with other teens of my church. It was a full five days of absolute bliss.
July came and that was kind of the “eh” month of the summer. It’s like “Great. It’s going to be freaking hot during this month and it’s our last month before school?! Well crap.” I honestly was not productive during month. (Although this month I made a huge decision about school. Maybe more about that later.) I feel like all I did was watch netflix, and read. I really wanted to be out having adventures, writing, and meeting new people but alas, that did not happen.
Along came August and so did school. School is interesting that way because you never know what they’re going to throw on you the first day. I don’t really remember what did happen that day, but oh well. All I really can remember about the start of school was knowing I had to get all A’s and a perfect GPA if I wanted to have a chance of getting into my dream school.
These past five months I learned a lot about myself. I learned how far commitment, determination, and working for your dreams could get you. I worked harder in school than I ever had. I studied hours for school, and more hours for the school of my dreams. Although I did miss out on a lot of stuff like being with friends and family, I don’t regret any of it. I was–and am–willing to sacrifice for my dreams and I’m thankful they understood why I had to miss out on things. I also became a lot closer with my best friends.
I replenished a friendship I thought I had lost (not the earlier one), and I think this is also a major highlight of my 2014. I’m not sure if she’s reading this (Let’s call her E, *wink wink*) but if she is I just want her to know she’s literally been such an amazing, hilarious, and spectacular best friend. She’s one of the people I know I can talk about anything with, and will talking about anything with. I’ve been so so blessed to have her in my life and can’t wait for the memories in 2015 with her.
I also learned things about my other best friends I hadn’t known and finding out these things made me feel like the worst best friend in the world. I felt like I had been neglecting friendships, which with application processes over, I’m not doing anymore.
I also made new friends. Friends who I can hopefully cry with in the future.
I realized how much my mom has sacrificed, how much stuff she’s gone through, and her love for her children.
During 2014, I re-discovered my love for writing, and my yearn to write. I found out I love baking. I found out I love learning, and that it’s great to be curious. I became comfortable in my skin and with who I was. I discovered that I wasn’t going to put myself on hold because something didn’t like the way I was.
Although I didn’t include personal things, they were there. Obviously I didn’t have the perfect year–that’s impossible. My bad memories shape me. I honestly wouldn’t be the person I am today without them.
2014 was a year of revelations, escalations, tears, laughter, and discoveries in which I will never forget.